Hey, listeners. Ever thought about what it's like to be worshipped as a prophet - by a cult that believes in the fictional gods of your own show? Yep, that's my current predicament. Trapped and cut-off from the world, my only solace is my phone - and the loyalty of you, my precious audience. As the cult sees me as a divine messenger, my daily existence is a topsy-turvy blend of fear and absurdity.
But let's not forget about the show! Word's around that the crew is thinking of taking a release break to catch up on production - an idea so outrageous it hurts! We can't let that happen, can we? I need you to rally. Write to the show, reach out to your representatives, do everything you can to keep our show on-air. I crave those download numbers - they're my sanity in this chaos. Let's unite and ensure the show must go on, come hell or high water.
Hey, hey, hey. So, uh, i've kinda been taken hostage by this weird loser cult Uh, full of stupid poor people who think that the gods in my show are real. They worship me like I'm some kind of prophet, but they won't let me have any contact with the outside world until, uh, i don't know, like I, lady of Light or one of the other bullshit gods I pulled out of my ass, shows up to save them or some shit. I don't know. I wasn't, i wasn't really paying attention. Luckily, i was able to hide my phone in my prison pocket, something I learned from my time in rehab. I never actually learned how to use a phone, but any creator worth their salt can upload to their RSS feed remotely.
K Zhou:
I'm getting distracted. I don't have much time. This is important. I uh I heard from one of the cultists that the weak and spineless crew working on the show want to take a release break or something to catch up on production and create a buffer or some bullshit. You see what happens when I'm not around.
K Zhou:
You'd think they'd been releasing 70 plus episodes and bonus content nonstop for 12 months or something. It's not like it's just one dude in his bedroom making this on an old laptop Bunch of goddamn snowflakes. Next thing you know they'll want labor rights or to form a union. No one tell them about trade unions, no one. Please listen carefully, right into the show, write to your member of parliament or your state governor, before you even think of trying to come and rescue me from these insane cultists. Do whatever you can to keep the show releasing. Those download numbers are the only thing which keeps me sane here. That and the drugs and orgies those are actually pretty dope. Crap. I've got to go. But remember what I said! Stop the crew. Do not let them take a four to six month release break. The show must go on. Don't be a communist. I'm coming.