The 2teg — Episode 2: Are You Sure You're Not Just Really, Really, Really Ill?! Artwork

No Return

No Return: An Audio Drama by Kier Zhou

No Return is a darkly comic British fantasy audio drama set in a vast, doomed world of gods, mercenaries, lost cities, political disasters and very bad decisions.

Each story follows flawed people trying to survive a world that is too strange, too old, and too morally messy to make sense of. Expect ensemble chaos, dense worldbuilding, absurd humour, sudden tragedy, and fantasy with teeth.

Start here if you like: morally compromised heroes, big lore, strange comedy, full-cast fantasy, and stories where the joke and the wound are usually the same thing.

But don’t take my word for it…

This show was nominated for Best Audio Drama at the New Zealand Web Fest and officially selected for the Cisco Web Fest, which is pretty good for someone who ran out of money to apply to any more festivals!

Here’s what listeners are saying:

“A journey through a creative mind like no other… I cannot begin to imagine how this creator keeps all his characters and plot lines straight, but it’s a marvel.”

“The quality and sound production are absolutely on point, but it’s the captivating writing and voice acting that keep you coming back.”

“Chaotic [affectionate]. Each arc has something unique - sometimes gut-wrenchingly funny, sometimes grounded — it keeps you on your toes.”

Extra lore, behind-the-scenes chaos, and stray thoughts at:

👉 patreon.com/NoReturnAD

All Episodes

No Return

The 2teg — Episode 2: Are You Sure You're Not Just Really, Really, Really Ill?!

June 02, 2025 • Season 10 • Episode 2

0:00 | 29:59

Send us Fan Mail

Wow, the 'old fashioned approach' really is much easier to follow. But... I mean... dead men showing up contrary to every rule in the book.. selective memory from the prime suspect... I'm not buying it.

Content warnings

Strong language
Violence, injury and blood
Death and mortality
Confinement, coercion or torture

Cast

Samael Vine/Rayan/Matthias Alaric/Weiguan — Kier Zhou
Lars Xu — Blake White
Scurlott Tupou — Marta Hodgson
Gnilfiet/Lucca — Krissi Williams
Leda — Lilly Inverse
Elyra Lightfoot — Abbie Jordan-Tickle
Cole Lumbo — Chris RR Bauso
Selwyn Janicek — Stasi Dimitrova ig
Niillas Janicek — Dylan Smith
Lady Isolde — Lauren Littlewood
Brother Absalom — Girunduu
Luobo Ironside — James Hart
Ang Von Overton — Rachel Pulilam
Dallen Gersia — Daniellelanois
Zafar — Christian Maclean-Mair