Finale: Wide-End: Less Than An Animal! Artwork

No Return

No Return: An Audio Drama by Kier Zhou

No Return is what happens when you give one person too much coffee, a microphone, and a world that won’t stop expanding.

It’s a fantasy series about gods, worlds, mercenaries, lost cities, and bad decisions… but mostly it’s about people trying (and failing) to make sense of the mess they’re in. The tone swings from absurd to sincere, from divine slapstick to quiet tragedy. Sometimes all in the same episode.

If Discworld got tangled up with The Wheel of Time and accidentally wandered into a Tom Sharpe novel, you’d be somewhere close.

The stories jump around the same world, exploring different but intertwined characters, stories and genres.

It’s made on a potato powered laptop, by a guy who clearly doesn’t know when to stop.

If you like things that are funny, sad, overcomplicated, and occasionally, accidentally, profound… you’ll probably like No Return.

But don’t take my word for it…

This show was nominated for Best Audio Drama at the New Zealand Web Fest and officially selected for the Cisco Web Fest, which is pretty good for someone who ran out of money to apply to any more festivals!

Here’s what listeners are saying:

“A journey through a creative mind like no other… I cannot begin to imagine how this creator keeps all his characters and plot lines straight, but it’s a marvel.”

“The quality and sound production are absolutely on point, but it’s the captivating writing and voice acting that keep you coming back.”

“Chaotic [affectionate]. Each arc has something unique - sometimes gut-wrenchingly funny, sometimes grounded — it keeps you on your toes.”

Extra lore, behind-the-scenes chaos, and stray thoughts at:

👉 patreon.com/NoReturnAD

All Episodes

No Return

Finale: Wide-End: Less Than An Animal!

November 17, 2025 • Season 3 • Episode 12

Send us a text

Part one concludes.

The part of Anzhlo was played by the magnificent Matt Evans

Lady Yvonna was played by the luminous Lauren Littlewood

Brucco was voiced by the charming Christian Maclean-Mair

Ysenda was acted by the ever graceful Gemma Maclean-Mair

Chura and The Domina were played by the accomplished Abbie Jordan-Tickle

Fuzhlo was played by the Dazling Dontae Majors

Rowan Lightfoot was played by Joe Jordan

Turzhlo was played by the Daring Drew Hupfa B and, on occasion, Kier Zhou

Orryn was voiced initially by the magnificent Mario Guttedauro and later Kier Zhou

Mikkel was played by the audacious Adam Robinson

Tobin was played by the sensational Sophie Spoof

Gnilfiet was reprised by charismatic Krissi Williams

Semion Quietknife was embodied by the indefatigable Dave Hodgson

Saurian 1 was played by the luminous Lilly Inverse
Saurian 2 was voiced by the tenacious Taylor Michaels
Saurian 3 was brought to life by the formidable, funny, and frankly fantastic AJ Fidaglo, also known as Mr F
Saurian 4 was performed by the lyrical Lyssa Jay

The part of Mr Kera was portrayed by the magnetic and moody Tyler Moody

Abbot Liare was reprised with grace by the limitlessly layered Lilly Inverse

Kaoru was conjured by the grounded and grand Girunduu

Sir Casper was embodied with gallant gravitas by the great and gracious Girunduu

Runa was realised by the radiant and resolute Madeleine Buttitta

The Expired Titles MC was magnificently made manifest by the bold and brilliant Brenna Anderson‑Dowd

and Everyone else was played by the Knuckle Dragging Kier Zhou

Except for Kerren Nadar who was played by the sagacious Stuart Bullock…. But wait… Kerren Nadar? The Lernian? He wasn’t in this was he? The name is familiar but did the character show up? Hmmm… probably a post credit scene then right?